Friday, May 1, 2009

Joke sa araw na ito

Ang taong problemado, sa patalim kumakapit.
Ang gwapong despe­rado, sa bakla lumalapit.

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KASABIHAN…Hindi lang sa gubat may ahas. Sa syudad, meron din.SABI KO NAMAN…Hindi lang sa lupa may bulate. Sa tiyan, meron din.

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PIDYONG: Pakiabot naman ‘yung posporo…
LUISA: And’yan naman ‘yung kalan, ah?!
PIDYONG: So, ipantitinga ko ‘yung kalan, ganu’n ba?!

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BOY: Nanay, bibili ako ng HIGH CAKE!
NANAY: Hindi ‘yun high cake, anak, hot cake!
BOY: Ok po. Pahingi na lang po ng barya.
NANAY: Kuha ka na lang sa SOLDIER BAG ko.

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DAVE: Ang laing nga­yon… with my head on the phone… thinking of you till it hurts…Bwahahaha! All Out of Love. Air Supply. Hahaha!

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Ayon sa dalubhasang pananaliksik, ang SWINE FLU ay kumbinasyon ng influenza mula sa BABOY, IBON at TAO.Kaya naman…“It’s unfair!” sigaw ni Bobby. “Bakit sa aming mga kababuyan ina-attribute ang swine flu?”“Minsan nga, ikinabit sa amin ang bird flu!” pag-ayon naman ni Yvonne.“Magsitigil kayo!” sansala ng Tao. “Ikaw, Bobby, hindi ka ba na­tutuwang nabawasan ang bumababoy sa inyo?“At ikaw, Yvonne, hindi ka ba masayang kinakain na kayo ngayon?” dugtong pa ng Tao.

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BOSS: sa tingin mo ba, pinapasuweldo kita para matulog?
JUAN: Hindi po! Libre po ‘to, bossing!

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JUDGE: Hmmnn… marami kang kaso. Gun running, drug trafficking, kidnapping, robbery, extortion. Wala ka bang ma­tinong trabaho?
BOOJIE: Meron. Pulis po ako.

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INDAY: Ma’am! Hu! Hu! Hu! Ginapang ako ni Dudung kagabi! Nireyp niya ako!
MA’AM: Bakit hindi ka sumigaw? Nasaklolohan ka sana namin!
INDAY: Eh kasi, ma’am… nasarapan ako, eh.

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Minahal mo ba siya dahil mahal ka niya?O minahal ka niya dahil mahal mo siya?Saan ka d’yan?Ako… minahal ko siya dahil nilandi niya ako nang bonggang-bongga!

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I’m not a jealous girl… I’m just a simple girl who would love to break the neck of any girl who flirts around my boy.

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Remember, we have only…
One LIFE… Live it well!
One SOUL… Make it pure and clean!
One HEART… Take good care of it! And
one SEX ORGAN… Use it as often as possible!

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